So, here we are... twenty years older than we were then. Some aging gracefully, or not at all. Rounder or leaner, better, though in some ways worse, than we were at 17, 18, 19. But, however we reason our lives in our own minds, we are unmistakeably different. The person you thought you were then has become a different you, now. You are seasoned, journeying into places and spaces that you never could have imagined 20 years ago.
I implore you to remember that as you gather yourself and your memories. To also remember that the people you loved and hated, those that you hung with or tormented on a daily basis have also had life experiences that have created new people. People worth meeting again. People who might inspire new friendships. Relationships that can be dusted off and made new again.
It wasn't until the years after high school, somewhere inside college, that I realized my years at Tech were some of the most painful of my life. So, in preparation for this coming together again, I write this from my own space of vulnerability, insecurity and wonder... About what memories I hold and what memories other people have of me. Things I will not remember, by chance or choice. I wonder who I might have been then and, in some ways, how I have changed, for the good and the bad. I think about where I should have been less judgemental, more merciful. I wish I had forgiven/been forgiven for for things that no longer hold my attention. I can't control any of that. So, instead, I will reintroduce myself... now... So here goes...
Hi. I'm Shia Shabazz. Today, I'm a 37-year-old, divorced mother of two of the most beautiful, brilliant children you'll ever meet. I'm a professional writer living in Austin, Texas, hoping someday soon to call the Bay home again. I also hustle a freelance graphic design gig every now and again. (Creating art is a high for me.) What I've learned so far is that engaging the world and inspiring change in it (through art) can be a brilliantly daunting task, but it is always an amazing experience. What I've learned from my pain, growing up, makes me a more sensitive parent (I think), a kinder person to myself, a more loving friend and, hopefully, a more purposeful human being.
So tell me... Who are you now? What have you learned?
4 comments:
Hi Shia, I am Sesame Teague...I had another last name but left it when I left the one who gave it to me and retrieved the one with which I was born...besides, all of my friends know that name. As I reflect on things, I find that I agree with George Bush on one thing...that is I have become a kinder and gentler person...without ulcers. I attribute that to me learning to “Let go and let God”. I am so grateful to have this opportunity to meet new people (because we all have evolved into someone who did not graduate from Oakland Technical High School in 1988) at the age where we normally are closed to the ideas of letting someone “new” into our “world”.
In 1988…hell 1984-1988, I realized that I had attitude…a lot of attitude. Not in a way that invited conflict, but a way that I shielded myself from the hurt and pain that was inevitable when we go through life, but I also realized that I shielded myself from the love and joy of true friendship.
20 years later and I am now starting to reveal my true age. For years as a high school teacher I held on to the age of 19. Although I still look 19…I wouldn’t go back to 19 for all of the tea in China. I embrace my nearly 38 years and look forward to many more…See you at the 20.
this is not user friendly! That's what I've learned
I am so excited about being together with all of my high school classmates!!! I am currently living in the town in which I was born and reacquainting with old friends...people who have never left this small town...I realized how blessed I was to have the experience of attending Oakland Technical High School and meeting each of you.
My high school years were great years filled with memories I will treasure as well as the friendships made during those times...it's amazing that I can say that I have 20+ years of friendships with anyone...thanks for hanging in there (to whom? all of you).
Okay y'all, I stopped clubbing many moons ago...but I'm oh, so looking forward to the all city reunion party! I dance like most people over 30 do...move from side to side with an occasional dip...LOL but I be jammin.
My end to clubbing began with my commitment to my spiritual life and relationship with God. I will be with you all Sunday for Family Day, but only after I worship in God's house. I pray each of you have found a spiritual life that helps you live a peaceful life positively...
I know I will walk away from the 20th year reunion looking forward to our silver reunion...the 25th.
Okay, I missed it!!! Can you believe it?! But of course, you know I had a good reason for not joining you all in Oakland this past weekend, Labor Day weekend 2008.
Since returning to my birth place, I have been moved to work with the youth of my community. This is a community with low diversity and the Black students don't know they have options. I founded a non-profit organization called The Sunday Brunch Bunch which works with students in the 9th and 10th grades to expose students to Black professionals in this area, mentor them through high school and encourage giving back to the community through volunteer efforts.
As a result of my work through The Sunday Brunch Bunch, I was recognized with the NAACP Image Award by the Rock Island County Branch of the NAACP. It was such an honor and I am glad the work I do in the community is appreciated.
I look forward to the Silver Anniversary (25 years) of our graduation (God willing).
Post a Comment